She is beautiful.

On the outside, yes, but anyone can see that. She turns heads, more than a few double takes, in Starbucks or the mall or the park. I can feel the envy in the stares of other men, even though she pretends not to notice ( Read more... )

The last two days have really been rough. Tensions high, feelings easily offended, lots of over reactions. Mostly on my part. My undiagnosed but obviously existent mental disease has really had me on edge lately, and I have taken it out on her. I hate that about myself, because she deserves so much better. And I am not a nice person at all ( Read more... )

I talk to myself sometimes. It's the way I process things that confuse me, or intimidate me, or anger me, or thrill me. I have to talk myself through emotional situations, else my brain short circuits. I'm socially awkward. I like to tell myself that it's because I'm so incredibly intelligent that my mind doesn't grasp normal social cues. I'm sure ( Read more... )

Countdowns dominated my life 2 years ago ( Read more... )

Exhaustion, more powerful than the 5 hours of sleep afforded me last night, and threatening to burn the bridge between consciousness and coma.  This fucking cold doesn't help ... and since I am not accustomed to being sick, it makes it all the more difficult to persevere.  I just want to crawl into bed, flip on the ID channel, and sleep next to my ( Read more... )

So, I've been dragged back to LJ kicking and screaming.  I don't have time for this.  I don't want to write.  I don't want to think.  I just want to eat chocolate waffle cone chocolate chunk ice cream and watch How I Met Your Mother reruns ( Read more... )

I took some time yesterday to read "the book", which is a collection of all the LJ entries, letters and text messages I saved from two years ago when Monica and I began the communication that eventually led to my proposal.  I am...utterly...amazed at things we said to each other, and how early on ... and how precisely accurate we were about each ( Read more... )

Sometimes, our relationship feels like we are still in the "honeymoon phase" .... even though, in reality, we never even had one. We went from strangers to lovers to living in a house with three children in a matter of months. There was never a time when we were spoiled with only each other.  Yet, despite the unconventional nature of our ( Read more... )

Up until two years ago, my experience with "love" had taught me it was merely a label you stuck on a marriage whenever two people had children together, and for the good of those children, agreed to "stick it out" for better or worse.  To me, love was a lie; an illusion designed to sell movie tickets and make regular couples feel hollow inside as ( Read more... )

How many people can pinpoint the exact minute the universe revealed their soulmate?

She left an innocent comment on my LiveJournal, after having added me to her friends list only a few days earlier.  Our first conversation was about divorce, and how we both were going through that ugly process.  It would be another month before our conversations ( Read more... )